It's interesting the different things that life brings to us. My cousin sent me a poem that says:
God didn't promise
Days without pain
Laughter without sorrow
Or sun without rain
But he did promise
Strength for the day
Comfort for the tears
And light for the way.
Today is a day that he is comforting me. And helping me to find the strength to go on.
I love life! I love my three boys and my daughter and husband more than I can ever imagine loving someone. But I also love the three little babies that I have lost this year. I know that there is no doctrine on miscarriages. But I saw with my own eyes that they were real babies. I loved them from the minute I knew I was pregnant. This last one was the hardest, yet I am so glad that I experienced it. We were able to give him a name and a blessing. I know that may be weird for some people, but to me it was the neatest experience I've ever gone through. He was really a baby, and I was only 41/2 months pregnant. I gave birth to him and I got to hold him. He fit right into my hand. He was beautiful to me. We named him Beau Gregory Bean. He weighed 1.8 lbs. and was 6 inches long. The hospital staff was so amazingly nice. They held him as if he were alive. They put him in a little square of a blue blanket. I was able to hold his tiny hand and hold his tiny foot. He was beautiful. I didn't want to give him up. I wanted to hold him forever. I know that he was needed in heaven. I guess I'm selfish, but I wish I still had him. I can't wait for the day that I can see him, and raise him. I loved him so much. My children loved him. They talk about him all of the time. Someday I will see him again. As for now, I get to see my other beautiful children grow up, and they do so very fast. I wish they would stay small just a little bit longer!!
Life is hard
10 years ago
7 comments:
Wow, Megan!!! What a difficult thing to go through. I had one miscarriage and it hurt a lot. I can't imagine how painful that must be for you. I have the name of a lady who runs a support group of lost babies through still birth or miscarriage. And she also has people come who have lost infant children. If you are interested, let me know. I keep in contact with her. Hang in there and good luck. Glad you were able to bless the baby you just lost. We know we lost a girl, but I was only 12 weeks pregnant and she was only 8 weeks. So, we didn't get to hold her or give her a name or a blessing. I have a suggestion of a book too (you may already have it) if you are interested. Hang in there! Our prayers are with you!
Okay, I lied. Correction: her name is Sydney Ann, but we didn't get to give her a blessing. I never got to see her. That was tough.
Megan, you are soo amazing. We are so sorry for what you had to go through but I am so thankful for the gospel and for knowing you get to raise him in the her after. WE love you guys tons and are thinking of you!!!
Megan,
I was wiping silent tears as I read.
big hugs to you. I am so impressed with your faith and strength to move on.
Thinking of you lots,
Gina
you are a marvel, i pray that you continue to feel his love around you (like a warm blanket)
You amaze me. You are an incredibly strong and faithful person. You have been in my thoughts and prayers so much. I have cried for you and I cried even more after I read this. I admire your strength so much!
Bishop Bean and Megan,
We are so sorry to hear about your experiences but it is quite apparent that you have the faith to endure. Lord bless ya and know that we are thinking about you and sending prayers your way.
Kyle
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