After the Trials come the Blessings

You know I've been really thinking about trials lately, and it seems that you hear of a lot more of them the older you get. I'm not sure if you just start paying attention more to yourself and to other people around you or if there really are more trials the older you get.

I've been reading a lot these last 4-5 months. I love to read! When I was younger, I used to get caught under the blanket with my alarm clock light trying to read late into the night. I have always loved to sit and read a good book. The older my kids get, the less time I have had for that, so the past few years I haven't read as much as I would have liked to. Two months ago, I miscarried our baby and I was 4 months along. I went through the entire serious of Twilight in just a few days.

I hate hearing about peoples trials because I want to take it all away from them. My good friend and her husband (who is also my cousin) had a little boy who was in Primary Childrens hospital the minute he was born because he had a hole in his heart, my friend who's Grandpa just died, my brother and his wife who's one year old baby died, my sister who lost one of her twins that she was pregnant with, my sister who has tried everything, and can't have any more children, my other sister who gets so sick when she does get pregnant, my friend who can't have children and shouldn't have been able to have the one they do have. My brother who has been breaking a lot of bones lately. They go on and on.....There are so many trials that we face in life. Whether it is financial problems, or sickness, or death. I wish that I could take it all away for them. I wish that I could take the pain of these trials away from them. I wish that we didn't have to go through some of the things that we go through.

But there is someone who did take it all away! Our Savior. He died for us and then was resurrected 3 days later so that we have the opportunity to see our loved ones that have died. He went through the pain that we may be going through. He knows how we feel and he only wants us to ask Him for help. He only asks that we live the gospel, that we say our prayers and read our scriptures and do our callings and go to church and help other people through their trials. I am so grateful to know that there is someone that knows how I feel each time I go through something that I don't know I can make it through. I am grateful that I am carried each time I go through a trial. I am grateful for the blessings that come after the trials, it may not be right after, but eventually, they come.

I am writing this post because I miscarried again this last weekend. I was 6 weeks along. I'm not sure why and I guess there will be a long process of tests. I am grateful to be alive, because I lost a lot of blood. I guess that I can say that I am grateful for the trials that I go through in my life, because I look at everyone else's and think, "Man I'm glad that's not my trial in life." I'm grateful for the friends and the ward members and the family members that push you along and I'm grateful for a Savior who carries me.

Thank you for being my friend. You don't know how much the phone calls, the meals, and tending my kids, and everything else, helps me out each day. The gospel that we have is truly amazing!!